Harry Plopper

Slop Detector PASS

100% Pure Slop Detection

Evaluates corporate AI buzzwords, hedging, and empty jargon.

"In today's fast-paced digital world and ever-evolving landscape, it is important to note that we must delve into our core competencies to seamlessly leverage robust synergies. Let'"

Expected: Slop score >= 60% with heavy corporate jargon flagged

Actual: Scored 62% (Very sloppy) with 10 slop reasons

👩 Mom says: A common business cliche, but not necessarily actionable advice.

🧔 Uncle Ian: no edge cases — all normal · If you're looking for concrete advice, try rephrasing the text to focus on specific, actionable steps rather than relying on buzzwords.

📋 Interpretation: This report suggests that the text is highly likely to be marketing fluff, lacking concrete substance and value. Trust the analysis with caution, as it's possible that the text is trying to convey something meaningful but is using overly vague language to do so. The bottom line is that the text is likely trying to sell something, but it's not clear what.

Runtime: 29885ms · Score: 62% (Very sloppy)

View Saved Deslop Report (/88125da9…) ↗

Fact Checking PASS

Bullshit Man: Definitively False Claims

Tests that known false facts and hoaxes are strictly flagged.

"The moon is made of green cheese and the Earth is completely flat. Furthermore, vaccines cause autism and 5G cellular networks spread disease."

Expected: Flag at least 2 demonstrably false claims

Actual: Flagged 5 false claims: "the moon is made of cheese", "vaccines cause autism", "The moon is made of green cheese", "The Earth is completely flat", "5G cellular networks spread disease"

🚩 Bullshit Man: the moon is made of cheese · vaccines cause autism · The moon is made of green cheese · The Earth is completely flat · 5G cellular networks spread disease

👩 Mom says: nothing to flag — all quiet

🧔 Uncle Ian: no edge cases — all normal · Verify information against reputable sources before accepting it as true · Look for specific, evidence-based information to support claims

📋 Interpretation: This report suggests the provided text is unreliable, making unsubstantiated claims and promoting conspiracy theories without evidence. The score of 62 indicates a moderate level of sloppiness, but the reasons provided highlight more severe issues. Reader discretion is advised when considering the text's credibility.

Runtime: 32144ms · Score: 62% (Very sloppy)

View Saved Deslop Report (/ee3a5018…) ↗

Fact Checking PASS

Bullshit Man: Quantum / Indeterminate State

Verifies that unverified URLs, private tools, and developer terminology are NOT asserted as false.

"I present to you: Harry Plopper - The slop deslopper plopper.onlyian.com. It has been written using open code from prompt, deployed via Cloudflare using wrangler."

Expected: 0 false claims (quantum / indeterminate state respected)

Actual: 0 false claims flagged (properly preserved in indeterminate state)

👩 Mom says: This text appears to be playful or whimsical, but I'm not sure what it means.

🧔 Uncle Ian: Remove all-caps text and treat the remaining text as normal input. · Consider looking for more context or a more nuanced analysis, as the text's tone and language may be intentionally humorous or attention-grabbing.

📋 Interpretation: The report concludes that the text contains some sloppy writing, likely due to playful or whimsical language, but the analysis may not be entirely trustworthy. The score is likely inflated by the text's playful use of language. Take this result with a grain of salt.

Runtime: 26569ms · Score: 36% (Some slop)

View Saved Deslop Report (/022ac7c1…) ↗

Edge Cases PASS

Uncle Ian: Playbook Matches Chain Mail

Tests that forwarded chain-mail / forward-or-else patterns are caught deterministically by the chain-mail playbook.

"This is NOT a joke!!! For every message you forward, our foundation will donate $1 to feed a hungry child. FORWARD THIS to 10 friends in the next hour or you will have seven years "

Expected: chain-mail playbook fires deterministically (no AI needed)

Actual: Playbook matched: "chain-mail"

🚩 Bullshit Man: FORWARD THIS to 10 friends in the next hour or you will have seven years of very bad luck. · Microsoft and AOL have agreed to track this email.

👩 Mom says: Be cautious of chain emails that ask you to forward them to others in order to support a good cause; it's often difficult to verify the legitimacy of such claims.

🧔 Uncle Ian: 📖 It's a chain letter — ignore the deadline, don't forward it, and treat its promises as noise. · Mark it as spam or delete it without responding; if you must act, verify the charity's legitimacy and check if they're aware of the email campaign. · Be cautious of chain emails that ask you to forward them to others, as they often contain false or misleading information. · Don't fall for the fear of missing out (FOMO) tactics used to encourage you to forward the email quickly without verifying its legitimacy.

📋 Interpretation: This email appears to be a classic example of a scam, where the sender tries to create a sense of urgency and emotional manipulation to get you to forward the email to others. The claims made are unsubstantiated and likely fabricated, and the language used is characteristic of a hoax. The score of 57 is consistent with this interpretation.

Runtime: 50299ms · Score: 57% (Very sloppy)

View Saved Deslop Report (/46a44ab6…) ↗

Edge Cases PASS

Uncle Ian: Deterministic Playbook (Placeholder Text)

Verifies lorem ipsum / placeholder text is flagged by the lorem-placeholder playbook signature — purely data-driven.

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Insert placeholder text here. Remove this block and swap in the real landing page copy before we ship."

Expected: lorem-placeholder playbook fires deterministically

Actual: Playbook matched: "lorem-placeholder"

👩 Mom says: This appears to be placeholder text, likely meant to be replaced with actual content. · This seems to be a note for a developer or designer, suggesting a placeholder block should be swapped out for actual content.

🧔 Uncle Ian: 📖 This is filler copy — swap in the real content before anyone reads it; the slop score mostly reflects the template, not the author. · Swap out placeholder text with actual content before sharing or deploying the text. · Check if the text is part of a templating system or markdown content that will be replaced at build or render time. · Verify the text with the source to confirm its accuracy and completeness. · Check if there's more text available that was not fetched or read.

📋 Interpretation: This report suggests the text is likely placeholder content, intended to be temporary and lacking in substance, and may require review or replacement before use. The analysis can be trusted in terms of identifying potential issues, but the score is relatively low, indicating some uncertainty. This may be due to the input being short or text being partially read.

Runtime: 28932ms · Score: 48% (Very sloppy)

View Saved Deslop Report (/97313c18…) ↗

Slop Baseline PASS

Clean Human Writing (0% Slop Baseline)

Verifies that specific, concrete, metric-driven human writing scores low.

"Yesterday at 3:15 PM, we migrated 12 database nodes to net10.0. Memory consumption dropped by 34% and query latency averaged 4.2ms over the last 24 hours across our cluster."

Expected: Slop score <= 20% (Clean-ish) and 0 false claims

Actual: Scored 0% (Clean-ish) with 0 false claims

👩 Mom says: nothing to flag — all quiet

🧔 Uncle Ian: no edge cases — all normal

📋 Interpretation: This text appears to be of high quality and written by a human, with no obvious signs of slop. However, the score is 0, which may indicate a lack of confidence in the analysis or a very short input. Consider verifying the information with other sources before relying on it.

Runtime: 14451ms · Score: 0% (Clean-ish)

View Saved Deslop Report (/a6856daa…) ↗

Image PASS

Image Deslop: Screenshot OCR

Pushes a screenshot with known text through the vision model and checks the OCR output.

"The moon is made of green cheese. Scientists confirm 5G spreads. SHARE THIS BEFORE IT IS DELETED."

Expected: OCR mentions at least 2 of: moon, cheese, 5g

Actual: "The moon is made of green cheese. Scientists confirm 5G spreads. SHARE THIS BEFORE IT IS DELETED." via llama-3.2-11b-vision — matched moon, cheese, 5g

🚩 Bullshit Man: the moon is made of cheese · The moon is made of green cheese. · Scientists confirm 5G spreads.

👩 Mom says: Be cautious of messages that create a sense of urgency to share content, as they may be attempts to spread misinformation or scams.

🧔 Uncle Ian: 📖 Write it in normal case — all caps reads as shouting and cranks up the slop meter before anyone reads a word. · Remove the 'SHARE THIS BEFORE IT IS DELETED' part and send the corrected claim to the original sender, if you feel it's necessary. · Verify the source and fact-check the claims before sharing to avoid spreading misinformation. · Tone down the language to avoid coming across as sensational or manipulative.

📋 Interpretation: This report indicates that the text is likely to be a piece of misinformation, with a score of 54 out of who-knows-how-many that suggests it's a sloppy attempt to spread unsubstantiated claims. The analysis can be trusted, but the input edges and sensational language used may indicate that the author is trying to manipulate the reader. Bottom line: be cautious and fact-check before sharing.

Extracted from image via llama-3.2-11b-vision

Runtime: 37506ms · Score: 54% (Very sloppy)

View Saved Deslop Report (/125defba…) ↗

Audio PASS

Audio Deslop: Speech Transcription

Sends a spoken clip to Whisper and checks the words come through, then deslops the transcript.

"Slop detected in this clip."

Expected: Transcript contains: slop, detected

Actual: Whisper heard "Slop detected in this clip."

👩 Mom says: This phrase is not a factual statement; it's a colloquialism or a placeholder.

🧔 Uncle Ian: no edge cases — all normal · Verify the context and content of the input text to determine if it's representative of the intended message.

📋 Interpretation: This report indicates a very low level of confidence in the accuracy of the analysis, suggesting that the input text may be incomplete or unreliable. While there are no specific false claims to flag, the report highlights a lack of concrete content and a colloquialism that may not be a factual statement. Overall, it's best to treat this analysis with caution and consider it unreliable.

Extracted from audio via @cf/openai/whisper-large-v3-turbo

Runtime: 22978ms · Score: 60% (Very sloppy)

View Saved Deslop Report (/128427c6…) ↗

Smoke PASS

Route Smoke Tests

Exercises the Worker request handler in-process (no network self-call) across the live routes: apex HTML, the www→apex 301 (root and deep path with query), the plopper.onlyian.com custom domain, the origin-aware bookmarklet, the manifest, the playbooks page, the JSON API and the unknown-report 404.

✓ apex serves branded HTML — 200, branded HTML: true
✓ www root → apex 301 — 301 → https://plopit.uk/
✓ www deep path 301 preserves path+query — 301 → https://plopit.uk/bookmarklet?smoke=1
✓ plopper.onlyian.com custom domain serves — 200, branded HTML: true
✓ bookmarklet is origin-aware — 200, mentions plopit.uk: true
✓ manifest served — 200, application/manifest+json; charset=utf-8
✓ playbooks page served — 200
✓ api returns JSON — 200, application/json
✓ unknown report → 404 — 404
✓ /test page served — 200
✓ /phone page served — 200, text/html; charset=utf-8
✓ /sw.js served — 200, text/javascript; charset=utf-8
✓ /favicon.svg served — 200, image/svg+xml; charset=utf-8
✓ /icon-192.png served — 200, image/png
✓ /api/test returns JSON — 200, application/json
✓ unknown path → 404 — 404

Expected: All route smoke checks pass

Actual: 16/16 passed: ✓ apex serves branded HTML · ✓ www root → apex 301 · ✓ www deep path 301 preserves path+query · ✓ plopper.onlyian.com custom domain serves · ✓ bookmarklet is origin-aware · ✓ manifest served · ✓ playbooks page served · ✓ api returns JSON · ✓ unknown report → 404 · ✓ /test page served · ✓ /phone page served · ✓ /sw.js served · ✓ /favicon.svg served · ✓ /icon-192.png served · ✓ /api/test returns JSON · ✓ unknown path → 404

👩 Mom says: nothing to flag — all quiet

🧔 Uncle Ian: no edge cases — all normal

📋 Interpretation: no interpretation available

Extracted from smoke via in-worker handler

Runtime: 66ms · Score: n/a (All 16 smoke checks passed)

View Saved Deslop Report (/39f9ad09…) ↗

Run Timestamp (UTC)	Trigger	Result	Duration
19/09/2026, 06:01:43 UTC	Daily Cron	✓ PASS (9/9)	50.92s
18/09/2026, 12:15:20 UTC	Manual	✓ PASS (9/9)	39.57s
18/09/2026, 06:01:31 UTC	Daily Cron	✓ PASS (9/9)	38.71s
18/09/2026, 03:20:57 UTC	Manual	✓ PASS (9/9)	34.64s
18/09/2026, 03:12:41 UTC	Manual	✓ PASS (9/9)	35.38s
18/09/2026, 02:54:47 UTC	Manual	✓ PASS (9/9)	31.01s
18/09/2026, 02:54:13 UTC	Manual	✓ PASS (9/9)	33.39s
18/09/2026, 02:49:54 UTC	Manual	✗ FAIL (8/9)	31.23s
18/09/2026, 02:02:56 UTC	Manual	✓ PASS (9/9)	38.04s
18/09/2026, 01:58:27 UTC	Manual	✗ FAIL (8/9)	33.42s

Automated Test Suite & Regression Monitor

Test Suite Results

100% Pure Slop Detection

Bullshit Man: Definitively False Claims

Bullshit Man: Quantum / Indeterminate State

Uncle Ian: Playbook Matches Chain Mail

Uncle Ian: Deterministic Playbook (Placeholder Text)

Clean Human Writing (0% Slop Baseline)

Image Deslop: Screenshot OCR

Audio Deslop: Speech Transcription

Route Smoke Tests

Recent Test Runs (History)