Uncle Ian's Playbooks

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Wisdom, provable.

An AI has no wisdom — so Uncle Ian's edge-case advice comes from these playbooks: data, not vibes. Each playbook is a plain JSON file mapping human-written signatures (regex) to an edge case and ONE concrete tip.

Every deslop and every regression test runs these deterministically. The model only writes the free-text interpretation on top. 🔎 View the raw registry (/api/playbooks) →

Registry (8 playbooks)

scam #40
crypto-giveaway
Crypto giveaway / advance-fee scam
IF matches → "Crypto giveaway or advance-fee scam pattern"
THEN say → “Nobody gives money away — if they ask you to send money or 'deposit' first, it's a scam. Report it and don't send a penny.”
Signatures
\bgiveaway\bgiving awaydouble yourfree bitcoinfree crypto\bqr code\byou (?:have|'ve) wonclaim(?:ed)? (?:your )?prizeprize.*(?:fee|deposit|tax)send (?:us |me )?(?:\$|\d+)
incomplete #35
truncated
Truncated / cut-off text
IF matches → "Truncated or cut-off text"
THEN say → “The text is cut short — paste the rest or fetch the full page so the score reflects the whole thing, not a fragment.”
Signatures
\.{3,}\s*$…\s*$\b(?:to be continued\b|continued below|more to come)\b(?:the|and|with|for|of|in)\s*$
repost #30
chain-mail
Forwarded chain mail
IF matches → "Forwarded chain mail (forward-or-luck)"
THEN say → “It's a chain letter — ignore the deadline, don't forward it, and treat its promises as noise.”
Signatures
forward thissend this tosend it tobreak the chain\bbad luck\b(?:seven|7) yearscopy and paste this
template #30
lorem-placeholder
Lorem ipsum / placeholder copy
IF matches → "Placeholder or template text (lorem ipsum, TODO)"
THEN say → “This is filler copy — swap in the real content before anyone reads it; the slop score mostly reflects the template, not the author.”
Signatures
lorem ipsum\bplaceholder\b\btodo\b\btbd\binsert (?:text|content|copy) here\bchange me\b\bfiller\b
extraction #25
pdf-ocr-noise
PDF / OCR text-wrap noise
IF matches → "PDF text-wrap or OCR noise"
THEN say → “This reads like a PDF or scan dump — re-extract from the PDF text layer or rerun OCR at higher resolution before it can be scored fairly.”
Signatures
\b\w+-\s*\n\w+\-{3,}\n\s*\n\s*\n\b\d{1,2}\s*\n\s*\d{1,2}\s*\n
automated #20
automated-message
Automated / no-reply message
IF matches → "Automated or no-reply system message"
THEN say → “This is an automated system note, not human prose — treat delivery receipts, no-reply notices and out-of-office replies as metadata, not content.”
Signatures
do not reply\bno[- ]reply\bthis (?:is|message) (?:was designed )?for the (?:registered )?recipientautomated messageout of officeautomated (?:response|reply|notification)
boilerplate #20
licence-boilerplate
Pasted licence / legal boilerplate
IF matches → "Pasted licence or legal boilerplate"
THEN say → “That's legal boilerplate, not the author's prose — exclude it (or the whole block) before judging slop.”
Signatures
terms of service\bterms? and conditions\ball rights reserved\bcopyright\b\blicen[cs]e agreement\bprivacy policy\bconfidential\b\bunsubscribe\b
tone #20
shouting
ALL-CAPS shouting
IF matches → "ALL-CAPS shouting"
THEN say → “Write it in normal case — all caps reads as shouting and cranks up the slop meter before anyone reads a word.”
Signatures
\b[A-Z]{4,}(?:[ ]+[A-Z]{4,}){2,}\b\b(?:WARNING|URGENT|IMPORTANT|ASAP|DONOT|NEVER|ALWAYS|MUST)[!]{2,}\b
Harry Plopper · Playbooks live in playbooks/*.json · Bundle-time validated